Are You an Ego Boost? 6 Red Flags That Indicate Your Person is Just Not That Into You
- Chris Barber
- Nov 21, 2023
- 3 min read

Dating in the 2020s is not for the faint of heart. It's not uncommon to find ourselves questioning the intentions of anyone we get involved with romantically. After all, the untrustworthiness is REAL. Among these perplexities lie questions such as is the person you’re interested in just as interested in you? Are they in it for love and because they really want to get to know you, or is it all about what you can do for them? What’s more (and potentially worse), are you merely a stepping-stone to boost their ego? Understanding these differences and recognizing the signs can save you from headaches, heartaches, and guide you towards more fulfilling relationships.
Understanding Ego-Driven Relationships
An ego-driven relationship is essentially one where a person prioritizes his or her self-esteem and social standing over a genuine connection. Such relationships are often marked by a superficial veneer of affection, where one’s significant other is more a trophy than a true companion. It's imperative to discern if your relationship is rooted in mutual respect and love or in one's need for self-aggrandizement.
Red Flags Your Partner May Be Using You for an Ego Boost
1. Lack of Deep Emotional Connection
A hallmark of an ego-boost relationship is the absence of deep emotional bonds. Conversations may skim the surface, focusing on trivial matters rather than delving into personal dreams, fears, or passions. If your love interest shies away from meaningful conversations and doesn't seem invested in understanding your inner world, it could be a red flag.
2. Inconsistent Behavior
If he/she is showering you with attention one day and being distant the next, this type of inconsistency might be a sign of their fluctuating need for ego validation rather than a stable, loving interest in you.
3. Overemphasis on Appearances
Does your partner seem overly concerned with how others perceive your relationship? If there's a constant need to showcase your relationship on social media or a preoccupation with appearances rather than the relationship's substance, it may indicate their desire for social approval rather than a deep connection with you.
4. Lack of Interest in Your Life
People who seldom inquire about your day, your feelings, or your goals might be in the relationship more for how it makes them feel than for who you are. Genuine love involves a mutual interest in each other’s lives and well-being.
5. Treating the Relationship as a Trophy
Consider whether your person brags about you to others in a way that feels more like they're boasting about an object rather than a beloved partner. This kind of behavior reduces a relationship to a status symbol. You’re worth way more than that.
6. Your Have Feelings of Insecurity and Doubt
If you often feel undervalued, insecure, or doubtful about your partner's affection, these feelings might be your intuition signaling that the relationship is not grounded in genuine love. Pay attention to your instincts.
Final Thoughts
Being in a relationship that's more about ego than emotion can lead to a significant dent in your self-esteem and emotional well-being. It can leave you feeling undervalued and questioning your worthiness of genuine love. Thus, recognizing the above red flags is the first step in addressing the nature of your relationship. It’s crucial to reflect on what you truly seek in a romantic partner and whether your current relationship aligns with those desires. Remember, you deserve a relationship that is based on mutual respect, deep connection, and genuine affection. Don't settle for anything less. Your worth is invaluable.

Chris Barber is a freelance writer and contributor to the blog. His desire is to write scripts and pursue his dreams of story telling. If you would like to contact Chris with an opportunity and or feedback, visit our Meet The Team page.
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