Eating Disorders | Lately I Have Been Triggered By Food

Obedience is better than sacrifice.

While writing Ground Up, I sat at the foot of God daily. There are many ways to do this, but God called me too fast and study His word. If you do not know, your body is a temple for the living God, which means you are the altar. When we fast, we are a pure channel for the Holy Spirit, and our ability to create is immense and immaculate. It took seven months to complete the book, and I fasted over 50% of that time. God revealed to me then, often, we have an unhealthy relationship with food. I believe this is important because after eating so little for so long, I now understand the mentality of someone with an eating disorder. There are times when I eat that I feel guilty. Often, I find myself reasoning in my mind if I am disobeying God by not fasting. It seems I am triggered by food. I decided to write about it because while eating breakfast this Sunday morning, I went back and forth about feeding my flesh. (Sundays had become a day of fasting for me.) After eating my bowl of cereal, I went out on the porch to write, and the glory of God fell on me. I felt like He was showing me He is with me when I fast and when I do not. He does what He wants to do when He wants to do it. He is sovereign. Instantly, I released the guilt about eating and praised Him for His healing. Sunday was the last day for eating disorder awareness week, and someone somewhere needs my story. Continue to go deeper with me.

"There are times when I eat that I feel guilty."

The effects!

Before fasting so heavily, I never experienced shame for eating. There were times in the past I lost weight due to depression, but I have never been overweight. In one case, I did not eat for seven days. While writing the book, I would surpass that. One time, I dry fasted for seven days (this means I had no food or water) and fasted for nine. Weekly, I dry fasted for three to four days. It was only by the spirit of God I could have done this. I did not weigh myself before jumping into the book, and it would not be until after I reached a certain point that I would. But if I had to guess, I would say I lost between thirty and forty pounds. When I finally weighed myself, I was ninety pounds, and that was following a few days of eating. At this point, I was no longer having my period. I was bone on bone, covered with skin. If I am honest, my family was afraid for me. My mother came into the room one day in tears because she thought I was not eating due to depression. I let her know this was not that. I can understand how someone can become addicted to the highest form of God's presence. I was not repeating a cycle of depression, but I was healing. Fasting allowed God to take up space in my body, and I was experiencing breakthrough after breakthrough. His Holy Spirit was intoxicating. The Bible says man does not live off of bread alone but by every word of God. His word was my daily bread (and still is). But this is the same mindset that I am cultivating today. I am learning not to take it to the extreme while still being intentional with how I eat.

"I was experiencing breakthrough after breakthrough."

Emotion plays a huge part in eating disorders.

There are three common reasons why the average person eats. One is out of boredom. Another is out of habit, and the last is to fill a void. The first two are self-explanatory. But today, we are discussing the act of emotional eating, also known as eating our emotions. There is a flip side to this. Some people do not eat at all because of how they feel or view themselves. Both fall under the eating disorder category, although we tend to only acknowledge those who suffer from anorexia or bulimia. Binge eating is not as extreme as the former complexities. But it is worth mentioning. When we avoid food or binge on it to avoid feelings, we deny the Holy Spirit His ability to heal our brokenness. Your healing is his miracle, and every emotion has a cost. Some feelings are worth pennies, while others are worth millions. If you do not allow yourself to feel, you do not know which impulse is worth expressing. I am writing this blog post based on how I felt. I am expressing my emotion. Do you see how we can use our feelings to create? If we are honest, guilt is not an emotion we want to feel. However, because I accepted it, God took what the enemy meant for harm and turned it into good. It is now a part of my testimony and an opportunity to glorify God. When we use our soul system (intuition) in alignment with Him, He causes us to be fruitful and multiply. Any time you take your emotions and turn them into creative outlets that reach others, you are doing just that. There was one time I cried out to God, not wanting to fast anymore. He got me together really good, and His response was so clear. He blatantly said you eat little because you have little faith. Ha! On another occasion, He said it is not about the food, but your focus because what you focus on grows.

"one time I cried out to God, not wanting to fast anymore."

Final Thoughts | Fasting is spiritual.

In conclusion, I am not telling you not to fast. I am also not saying to over/under eat. I am saying the intention behind it is everything. When we fast for dietary purposes, it could result in an eating disorder. Often, we do not know why God has called us to fast. But we should know He wants our focus. God knows what we do not, and obedience is better than sacrifice. Since God called me too fast at the beginning of my book-writing journey, He also gave me the healing I would need and delivered me from the trauma I experienced because of it. Just as God did for the children of Israel in the wilderness when He suffered them to hunger. Later, He would bring them into the promised land, a land flowing with milk and honey. There they would no longer suffer lack and prosper in all they would do. What God starts, He finishes. In Ground Up Self-Love Workbook, I talk about mindful eating and how we can make space for the presence of God. When was the last time you had an encounter with Him? You could be due for a visit.

Ground Up Self-love Workbook is your resource for all things self-love and alignment. To purchase your copy, click the link below. To do this walk with like-minded individuals, join my Pretty Beast Fit VIP Community and meet your self-love sisters. We can do this together!

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La'Tara Jackson is Author/Owner of Ground Up Self-Love Workbook and .com, and Holistic Coach both certified in personal training and yoga. She has over eight years experience in nutrition and wellness and it all began with being a single mom desiring a better life for herself and children by starting a woman's community bootcamp that would go on to change the lives of many. And that was just the beginning.

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