Relationships | "Dear Love" : A February Series

Dear Love

Since we're in the season of love, I thought it only right to start a series titled "dear love," in honor of love itself. The strangest thing about this thing called love is that we don't always acknowledge its presence daily. How many times has a stranger smiled at you, or bought you a coffee randomly? For me it happens often and I recognize this is love. It doesn't always have to express itself in grand gestures. Every breath you take is an expression of love. When we perceive this we embody love. Love is not outside of us, although it reveals itself by way and through others, it starts with self. People can tell the difference between a person who loves themself and someone who doesn't, and it has little to do with the things they have. An individual who takes care of their wellbeing is someone who is in love. It is expressed in their ability to adhere to their needs thus provide for said need. Most of us call this practice, self-care. Self-care is indeed self-love.

Self-Care is an Expression of Self-Love

When was the last time you actually groomed yourself? I'm speaking about more than a bath, a hair cut or hairstyle, and your nails done. Reflect on the last time you oiled your body and topped it with body butter to seal in the moisture. For my sistas, when was the last time you greased/oiled your scalp and topped it with a scalp massage? When was the last time you oiled your cuticles and feet by yourself to prevent rough heels and dry cuticle beds? Is this not a part of grooming? It sounds like going the extra mile but why isn't it the bare minimum? Going to see a specialist should be maintenance not the only source of your upkeep. If you need tips on how to do a DIY affordable home spa day check this out 👇🏽 https://www.groundupselflove.com/post/balanced-life-wellness-at-home-spa-edition. But let's go a little deeper with this concept. When was the last time you had a healthy meal or did some form of exercise and movement? This is all a part of self-care and love.

Another Name for Love is God

How you treat yourself is not only a reflection of how you treat others but also God. God is love and He lives in you. In fact, God is you. If you neglect yourself, consider you are ignoring God. This is reflected in your self-abandonment and also abandonment of God's word. When was the last time you opened your Holy Bible? Better yet, when was the last time you read a full chapter? Your commitment to reading God's word daily is the bare minimum. Going to church on Sunday and Wednesday's Bible Study ought to be maintenance, not the main source of your studies. Is it really devotion if you only spend time with Him twice a week and in community settings, never alone? How do you expect to build relationship if you see Him sporadically. Remember the grass is greener where you water it.

You are Love

I remember not long ago writing on my IG how I was afraid of Love. Like think that! Clearly, I was looking at it incorrectly since how can I be afraid of myself if I am love. This wasn't that reverence we should have for God kind of fear, but that I don't wan't to look stupid putting my heart in someone else's hand trusting them with it. What I was doing was placing love outside of me. Subconsciously I was saying I didn't want to be hurt by the lack of love that others might have for themself. But let's look at that closer. Scripture tells us, how can you pluck the speck out of your neighbors eye when you haven't removed the plank from your own. At that point I knew it was time for me to look inward. How was I not showing up for myself? If in my higher state, I would lean on my gift of discernment that alerts me to those who are safe opposed to those who are not. The truth is when you are ascending/evolving, you will attract everything. You cannot control that but you can control who has access to you. What was I trying to control? Was I not trusting the boundaries I'd been taught to set in place? Was I feeling as if outside forces had more power than He that is in me? According to God's word, that would be a lie, and if I was believing a lie, it was time to go spend time with my Abba so He could reassure me of His truth and promises. I needed to feel His love, correction and be comforted by His wisdom. Ultimately, I came out of that fast understanding I can trust myself and I can trust God. As long as those two things are in tact, the standards I have set for my life will weed out those who aren't willing to do the work (inner work) to be in my life. We don't trust words, we trust actions. Show me your fruit beloved! When we do the inner work, everything else false into place and there is no need to control the narrative because we have self-control. In many ways, that is how our self-love is expressed.

1 John 4:4-6 KJV Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.

Final Thoughts | Don't be a Stranger to Love

Our daily interactions and relationships may just be suffering from this very principle. We have somehow become strangers to love. Is it the routine of daily life that keeps us so busy that we cannot acknowledge its presence? Are we so caught up in what we have to do and our responsibilities that we completely ignore the He exist? If we're honest with ourselves one of the things we are missing in our connections is time. Love takes time to cultivate. You have to be present with it to receive of it. Here is the power of now! Being here now! Available and open to receive joy, laughter, a compliment, to be a listening ear, to show compassion, to be present for someone, to receive a miracle, the miracle of healing. When we are strangers to love, we constantly need healing. In a world so busy, it's almost impossible to do since we have to worry about what we have to do next before we can complete what we're doing right now. Nothing and no one has our full attention. Ironically, that's what we each crave. Undivided attention, and devotion. Does that sound familiar? God wants the same and that is LOVE.

La'Tara Jackson is Author/Owner of Ground Up Self-Love Workbook and .com, and Holistic Coach both certified in personal training and yoga. She has over eight years experience in nutrition and wellness and it all began with being a single mom desiring a better life for herself and children by starting a woman's community bootcamp that would go on to change the lives of many. And that was just the beginning.

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