You Are So Sexy! | How To Be Sexier
- La'Tara Jackson
- Jul 25, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 26, 2023
You are so sexy!
When you hear the word sexy, what comes to mind? How you look? How you dress? How you walk? How you speak? Your gaze? Biting your lip? Like seriously, what comes to your mind?
Everything that I mentioned is honestly a perverse idea of sexuality, or sexiness. It is shallow. Sexuality is really about sensuality. It is a matter of sensitivity and not just imagery. Someone telling me I was sexy used to be one of my favorite compliments, until I realized what they really meant is they felt lust and were lusting after me. Whoa, NO! Easily I was taking on the emotions and perceptions of another and making them my own. Obviously, at that point in time, I had no clue what love really was so I confused the two. I also didn’t know just how sensitive I was and considered the reason they saw me as sexy was because of how I looked and dressed. Again, very shallow. Here is when we think being sexy is about imagery and not sensuality. When we think about sensuality, we tend to think about fleshy desire. Physical touch, how something taste, how something feels, how something smells, how something looks, how something sounds. Again, it goes back to your senses. But just how aware are you of your sensitivity? This is your sixth sense, your ability to discern. People who do not see themselves as sexy, simply haven’t tapped into their senses. They are not aware of the energy they are both emoting and receiving. Sensuality requires intimacy and depth. This is why we often get it wrong in expression because we only consider the flesh. We think something is sexy and instantly consider we should have sex. NO, wrong answer! That perception is very surface level, and not intimate at all. True intimacy is emotional intelligence, vulnerability and self-awareness. How well do you know yourself? (Insert Keith Sweat, How deep is your love?) If it is only bedroom deep, it isn’t that deep at all.
“When we are more vulnerable with the self, we provoke feelings of safety and deep intimacy. It promotes feelings of love and acceptance. Strangely, the more emotionally vulnerable we are with the self, the sexier we are.“
-Ground Up Self-Love Workbook
So lets break down how to be and feel more sexy.
First, Start by learning your likes/dislikes.
What turns you on? That statement is more sensual than it is sexual. Here is how we get into self-exploration. Dive deep into your own well of waters. Your emotions are guiding and alerting you of the things you like/dislike and want to experience. They want to be activated (turned on). But are you listening? Journaling is a great start.
Secondly, Consider how you show love to yourself.
In what ways and areas of your life do you hold yourself accountable and are disciplined? Self-control is the greatest evidence of love. Keeping yourself to a high standard will automatically call you to handle those in your life the same way. Have and create boundaries for yourself. Self-love is the foundation for luxury and elegance. And both of those characteristics are the epitome of sexy.
Thirdly, Spend more time with yourself, alone.
Sounds redundant saying yourself and alone but I felt the reiteration was necessary. It isn’t always easy being by yourself, especially when we are programmed to want connection. But connection starts with you. In fact, you are never alone. Instead you are BY yourself, meaning a companion to the self. You have to learn to be your own best friend. There is something very sexy about a person who enjoys their own company. Solo date anyone?
Fourthly, Allow yourself to be vulnerable with yourself.
Do NOT hide any aspect of the self from the self. Why would you? Doing so is how you reject yourself. The name of the game is acceptance. The more you accept yourself, the easier it is to accept others. You can only experience another at the level you experience yourself. We are talking intimacy here. There is nothing more freeing than releasing all resistance to ALL. In other words, there is nothing more freeing than releasing control. Don't worry, your self-control and boundaries will take care of the rest. Ironically, you find your power when you surrender. Here is when your discernment (sixth sense) comes into play. You are a free spirit, ya know! Now you must master self.
My last tip for now, Start dissecting your fears.
When you dissect your fears, you begin to see the truth and the lie. What this means is, you’ll start to take more risks. Take back your power over your life. Live life to the fullest. Break the mold, do something new, find your place in the world through exploration and adventure. Face the fear and do it. There is something sexy about a person that just goes for it.
Final Thoughts | Find Your Sexy!
Somewhere deep down inside, you are sexy and truly irresistible. Stop resisting yourself. Learn you, be you, do you! With NO regrets. Life is meant to be explored and so are you.
If you find this blog post helpful, please be sure to like, comment, subscribe and share with your sexy friend. To purchase your copy of my Ground Up Self-Love Workbook, click below and check out my store, your shop for all things self-love. If you're in need of sexy friends, join my Pretty Beast Fit VIP Community and meet your self-love sisters! You can sit with us!
La'Tara Jackson is Author/Owner of Ground Up Self-Love Workbook and .com, and Holistic Coach both certified in personal training and yoga. She has over eight years experience in nutrition and wellness and it all began with being a single mom desiring a better life for herself and children by starting a woman's community bootcamp that would go on to change the lives of many. And that was just the beginning.
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